my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
