where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I'm having to shit out rocks
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