This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
