Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
