Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
