you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
