At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
