hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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