I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
