Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
