Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
