Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
