It's like God shit irony all over that family
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
