ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
