just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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