Where did you get a picture of my penis
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
