i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
