talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
