Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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