Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You have to summon your inner elephant
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
