i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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