I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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