dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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