Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.

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(407): View more from Florida

Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.

Fav 77 3535 977
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store

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(256): View more from Alabama

I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.

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(519): View more from Ontario

woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

We need a shit load of segways right now

Fav 1 748 490
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?

Fav 3 98 13
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