All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
