whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
