im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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