I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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