I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
