It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize