OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
