You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
