I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
