My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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