So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
if only i could text you this smell
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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