Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
