I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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