Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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