The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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