Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Can I color on your dick again?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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