for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
