How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
