I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize