I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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