can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
