i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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