im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
