is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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