Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
