She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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