im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
