the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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