Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
