theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
