I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
