perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
