I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
