i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
