Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
