her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
