Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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